You Must Be Kidding

Mascot Hockey - Thats me on the Right

2006-02-14T16:13:00.000-08:00

I’LL GET YOU MY PRETTY AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!!

2005-03-31T10:29:00.000-08:00

I’ve lived in my house for close to three years now and up until a week ago our neighbors have not said a single word to us. Not so much as a “Hello”. So last week my sweet Rosie, who by the way is a loud mouth, and I were on our way to the bark for our daily bonding time. I don’t usually put her on a leash as there is rarely a need for it. Well that day I probably should have put one on. When we walked out the front door Rosie spotted the neighbors cat crapping in our flower beds. So Rosie being a dog and seeing a cat in her yard she chased the invader back into its yard and cornered it on their porch. This is where it gets nutty. They door flies open and in a whirlwind of rage out bursts a train wreck of a woman. I wish I could have got a picture but I couldn’t get the psycho to stand still long enough to snap one off. Not really great at the wild life action shots. I’ll do my best at painting a picture for you. We’ll start with its attire. It was sporting a pair of painted on acid washed genes and a very sporty airbrushed sweet shirt. This fashion choice was perfect for its “I smoke too much” Calista Flockhart frame. Now for the best part, framing the nicotine withered leather face is a graying wind tunnel tested, totally 80’s helmet/hairdo. Hope that paints a good picture. Back to the story, the train wreck burst out of its front door and yells in an effort to shoe Rosie back to her yard. In the mean time I walk over to the edge of my yard and call Rosie back and of course, like the princess she is, she turns and trots over to me with no sense of urgency. Now the focus is on me. It turns on me and yells at the top of its lungs “YOU KEEP YOUR DOG OFF MY PROPERTY OR I’LL CALL THE POUND!!!” WOW!! So it hasn’t said so much as a Hello in three years and this is how it wants to open the neighborly lines of communications? I have to tell you I was completely disarmed. All I could say was “Keep you cat out of my yard and we’ll be fine.” OK possibly my worst comeback ever. But to my defense I was completely disarmed by how quickly it attached. Should be a Discovery Channel special When dirt road trash bags attack. It just kept saying “YOU KEEP YOUR DOG OFF MY PROPERTY OR I’LL CALL THE POUND!!!” It said it four times. You would think it would have switched it up to something that would be more appropriate for its position in the neighborhood like “I’ll get you my pretty and your little dog too!!”
It just blows me away how crazy some people are. I’m not a bad neighbor just want the stereotypical superficial neighbor relationship. You know the smile and the wave or the rhetorical “How are you?” Not sure that’s possible now with the rabid trash bag living next door. Hopefully one of us will move on before we become Hatfields and McCoys. Think it will be Mandy and I as we do not have five cars on blocks in our yard.

Nowhere I'd rather be.

2005-03-29T11:40:00.000-08:00

This is a shot of Rosie and me taken by my lovely wife Mandy at Short Sands in OR. Just south of Cannon Beach. Great surfing spot, truly paradise. My favorite place to get away from everyone and everything with my two best girls.

OMG your "THAT GUY"

2005-02-25T11:17:00.000-08:00

So I am moving closer to a birthday that is going to put me on the edge of my mid 30’s. Now I have never really gotten bunged up about getting older until I attended a bachelor party for one of my knuckle head buddies from school. When I say knuckle head I mean that in the most endearing way possible.

The plan was to go out and hit the bars. WOW! Not even close to the scene I remember. We went a bar that was a knock off of Coyote Ugly. YEEE HAAA!!!!!!!!! The place was filled with little kids. (All over the legal drinking age of course) Not really my deal but then again wasn’t there for me. So I am standing in the corner watching the all the kids do there thing and I realized something HOLLY SH*T!!!!!!! I’m “THAT GUY”!! You know the old guy we used to see in the bars when we were kids and my knuckle head buddies are the old guys we used to make fun of. Like the song “One of these things is not like the other”. You know the guys to old to be in that particular bar hitting on girls WAY to young for them. Luckily I was able to round up the troops and get out of there before the kids started pointing and laughing or worse calling me sir.